I haven’t written anything alopecia wise in a long time and I’m
sorry for that. It’s not that I have
nothing to say on the matter but so much else is more important. And lately I find that I don’t want to be as
open about my story as I was in the past.
For it seemed opening myself up has also allowed others in. Which for the most part has been therapeutic and
healing; not only for myself but for others.
But along with the good will
always come the bad. The naysayers that
wish to bring me down to the fetishers following for no other reason than the superficial. These are the ones not interested in the message;
they only want to dirty what I want to say to the world.
Being bald and living as an open bald woman leaves me open
to much ridicule. Too many frustrations. I try to live by an honest open life, to be myself. I just want to able to live my life, to go
about my day just like everyone else.
But as an open bald woman that will never happen. There is always going to be days where I will
be stopped in the streets and asked about my baldness. Most times honest inquiries; other times
hostile people that have nothing nice to say.
That I’m some sort of freak for being bald. That I must belong to a radical group. There is other times, which seems to be the
days that I just want to blend in, that I get the open gawking stares. Adults and children so busy staring at my bald
head that they walk into things.
Children racing to their moms, tugging at their hands and pointing at
me. Where their mothers respond by
hushing them and pulling them away.
I have 2 choices in my life.
One I can cover up and in my mind, hide my alopecia. Or two I can adapt and adjust. And as I adjust to the negatives parts of
sharing my story, I found something new, I have also let myself down in the
process. I let myself down because I
also built a wall around myself. Daring
anyone to approach me. I let those that
wish to destroy the positive message stop me from sharing it. I let them control me out of fear of being
hurt or upset. Much like I did growing
up with alopecia and hiding it from people out of fear of being ridiculed, I
let the naysayers and fetishers do the same.
Much like as when I was a child I let the few negative aspects outweigh
the positives that can come from opening up.
I worry too much what others may say or think about what I have to say
instead of telling my message.
I thought I was thru with that fear when I shaved my head,
but that is something that carries with you in all aspects of your life. Just because you conquered it in one part doesn’t
mean that you have conquered it in all parts of your life. And it also doesn’t mean that the problem won’t
arise further in your future. I have to
be strong in myself, in my message, in my constitution of what I know to be
right for me.
I will not let the few negative parts of opening myself up
to the world stop me from sharing my message.
For they are few in comparisons to the ones that are willingly wanting
to hear it.
I am reminded of this when I came across a piece of writing,
so inspiring that I saved it and will share it here.
“One piece of wisdom
for any messenger spreading visionary ideas in the world. Be careful to protect
yourself from the opinions of all but a few carefully selected, trustworthy
mentors who are on their own visionary journeys. And remember that the feedback
you'll get from others, none of it is personal. When you’re brave enough to get
into the arena, you’re going to have critics. But remember, they’re not
criticizing you. They’re just reacting to what they don’t like about themselves
in the mirror that you hold up. The same is true for those who are cheering you
on. What you’re reflecting back in the mirror you hold up shows them the best
part of themselves. But none of it is about you. It’s all projection. If you
personalize the criticism, you won’t get far on your mission. And if you
internalize the praise, you’ll become a diva with a swollen head. As Theodore
Roosevelt expressed best, “It is not the critic who counts; not the man who
points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have
done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena,
whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who
errs, who comes short again and again, because there is no effort without error
and shortcoming; but who does actually strive to do the deeds; who knows great
enthusiasms, the great devotions; who spends himself in a worthy cause; who at
the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement, and who at the
worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly, so that his place
shall never be with those cold and timid souls who neither know victory nor
defeat.” Lots of people will try to criticize you from the stands of the
ordinary world, when you’re out there in the arena, stepping bravely onto the
path of your hero’s journey. If someone doesn’t have the courage to get in the
arena with you, the advice can’t be trusted.”
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