LDR Manual

Long distance relationships... there should be a manual on how to survive them.  This has to be the one single handily hardest thing that I have gone through.  And I have gone through alot in my life.  I have finally found love, experienced love, to know that I am loved and now I feel as if I'm in a holding pattern til I can have it again.  On top of it all there is my fiancé’s feelings in all this too.  A relationship regardless if there is distance or not still requires you to acknowledge and do your best as a partnership.  When I'm feeling sad or frustrated or even angry about things, I must remember that it will also reflect on my fiancé’s feelings. 

How does one get through this, especially knowing that the distance is great and it will take much time to close that distance.  As in my case in this overseas relationship.  It’s not like I can just pack an U Haul and go on my merry way.

Honesty is the best policy.  Always has been and always will be.  Sharing eachother’s thoughts but being mindful of how they can be interpret.  I find it so frustrating when I'm sharing the thoughts going on inside my head, and being asked “What do you want to do about it?”  There is nothing that can currently be done.  Nothing more than what we are already doing; Working towards that common goal of being together.  Just because I would want it today doesn't necessary mean that it will happen that way.  And it’s that what causes my biggest grief, sadness and frustrations.  If I could wave a magic wane I would make it so.   

Not being hard on myself or my fiancé.  We are doing the best that we can do.  Even if we both want more and I most certainly do, taking it out on him is not going to fix it.  I have never been known to be the most patient of people.   And when I do decide I want to do something or want something it’s now not later.  As my mom always said “shit or get off the pot.”  One thing that helps in this is making a date.  It gives me a final point, a goal to work towards. 

And trust; the biggest of them all.  Loving my fiancé and trusting him to totally let down my guard was something that I learned to do in the process of our relationship taking to fruit.  My past experiences never let me fully let down my guard before and now I have.  It’s not just the letting down my guard and trusting him, but its remaining open to trust him always.  And entrust that he trusts me.  Distance only adds to the insecurities of everything.  To trust is crucial.

At the end of the day it all boils down to LOVE.  Loving this man that anything is worth going through to have him in my life.  Because I honestly wouldn't want it any other way.  I love him dearly.  And look forward to a future where we are together forever.

These are my reminders, my how to manual on surviving a long distance relationship.