It is truly unbelievable that I'm coming into my fourth year
of living as an openly bald woman. From
the once shy and hiding woman that was terrified to let anyone know that I had
alopecia and fighting to keep my hair, terrified that I may indeed be bald. To
the day I became “Bald and Fabulous”.
Much has happened during this time, many stumbles, to downright
falling flat on my face, to successes to failures, to learning about me and
learning about the people I come into contact with.
I wish I could say it was easy or even enjoyable; but that
would be a lie. But the one thing I can
say is that it has been one hell of a roller coaster and a ride that I wouldn't
have changed for anything. And as I
continue on this journey I will always try to stay authentically myself. I will own my mistakes and failures as long
with my successes and triumphs.
My one and only goal when I started on this journey was to
aide in the awareness of this disease as well as wishing to help those that are
feeling the same struggles that I did and still do. To let you know that you are not alone.
When I first step into the alopecia arena, I was shocked to
know that there were many others that also had this disease; because for so
long I truly did feel as I was the only one.
In all the years of going to the doctor’s office for those painful
treatments, not once did I visually see another person struggling with hair
loss. So when I stepped into the social
media world; actually more liked leaped in without looking; I was greeted with
so many others that I “friend” anyone that shared my story. It wasn't till later that I learned that this
was wrong for me. There was many that
even though they also had alopecia, I shared nothing else with them, we would
have completely different values, thoughts and interests. There was also some that didn't even have
alopecia but lived bald or said they did for completely different reasons. I made mistakes those first few years, and
forgot to be authentic to myself.
Also in these last four years, like any other four year old,
I have grown and changed, and some of my own thoughts have changed along with
them. Even though my goal still remains
the same; raising awareness and helping others; I don’t feel the need to shout
it out from the roof tops any more. I
thought I wanted to campaign for awareness, but to do that some things in my
life would not receive the attention that they deserved; other things that I
consider far more important to me. So I
changed and reset my priorities. And
like growth and change, ever fluid, I'm sure as some point in my life I will be
resetting my priorities again.
I guess what I'm saying in all this is that; just because
you share the same adversity with someone else does not necessary make them “friend”. And change and growth is just that- CHANGE. Ever fluid, ever moving, always
constant. That’s life after all. So don’t be hard on yourself for finding
yourself at a crossroads again, don’t feel like you are not being true, because
honestly I do believe to be authentically yourself always, is to accept that
you may change your mind and change your values, and so long as it is what you
feel is right for yourself. That “yourself”
that speaks to your conscience.
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